By Hindustan Times
If one portion of society were to begin physically beating up and assaulting another part of society, the police would declare it a riot, the Rapid Action Force can be brought in, and the state machinery would swing into action to take appropriate steps to bring an end to the violence and
protect people who need help.
Thereafter the state might even arrange refugee camps etc. to rehabilitate those affected. Well, after we got down to do our research on domestic violence, that is precisely what we found. One component of society was physically beating up and assaulting another, there gave the impression to be a civil war like situation out there, only there has been no Rapid Action Force to forestall the violence. Two separate studies, one organised by Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, Govt. of India, and another organised by the Planning Commission, showed that anywhere between 40% and 80% of ladies in India are victims of domestic violence. Lets take a conservative middle figure of allow us to say 50%. That's an enormous percentage of ladies! And i am afraid these figures don't speak really well people men.
What is that this thinking that we've got in us? What's this thinking that make us men believe that we've got a right to hit a lady? And what's this thinking that makes many ladies accept this beating for years on end? Once again, it’s the great old ‘Patriarchal’ thinking. It's indeed alarming to find what number of different problems arise out of this strange animal called ‘Patriarchal thinking’. In our research of 2 years during Satyamev Jayate, and in our journey to grasp these 13 topics, that is the only common factor that has repeatedly arise because the villain of the piece. And, as our expert in this episode Ms Kamla Bhasin pointed out, that women, since they too are part of the similar society, are as much part of this thinking..
Patriarchal thinking… men are superior to girls! … men are the bosses! … they'll decide what's good for his or her women… men will control women’s lives as they please and as they deem fit!!! And so we've got Female Foeticide, Female Infanticide, the lady child isn't fed properly, the health of the lady child isn't a priority, the lady child isn't given education or, less importance is put on her education, instead she is taught to do exactly house work. In fact while all that is happening, she is frequently beaten! This thinking also leads to child marriages, dowry, discrimination against widows, and naturally unequal share in property, that is, if there's any share in any respect. Leave alone empowering our women, why are we specifically disempowering them and feature been doing so for millennia.
Let us examine one of the excuses that men put forth for assaulting the ladies folk of their family:
“I am very short tempered”, “there's a large number of stress and problems in my life so it comes out like this”. So how come you don’t hit your boss? Why only your wife? Well you don’t hit your boss because if you happen to do, your boss will take appropriate action against you're the. women listening?
“I get violent with my wife because I LIKE her so much”, “my love for her comes out on this passionate and violent way, it is because I take care of and love my wife”. Well in that case, there need to be an equal amount of thrashing coming from the ladies folk.
“My wife asked for it”. Well she also asked for a diamond necklace…, and guess what you might be asking for?!!!
There really does appear to be a civil war in the market. Brothers hitting sisters, fathers hitting daughters, husbands hitting wives and in some cases, even sons hitting mothers. Our experts have explained how once domestic violence starts it gets worse with every encounter and not stops until you stop it! The girl has to mention NO!
India has a reasonably strong Domestic Violence Act and it's important for all women to be aware of what the law says. The security of girls from Domestic Violence Act specifically states that the lady has the suitable to reside in, what's called, the shared household. Often a typical fear among women is to be thrown out of her home. This Act protects EVERY women on this regard. No women, whether wife, mother, daughter or sister, can also be thrown out of the house, although the valuables isn't in her name, and, is technically owned by another family member. This Act also states that the federal government of each State must create shelter homes for girls preferring to not stay within the shared household. And, that the State Government must provide any woman with a protection officer who acts as a liaison or bridge between the ladies and the courts. So, a women doesn't want to put money into legal fees in an effort to avail of her rights under this act.
Historically, men has been part of this problem, and now it's high time we men become part of the answer. Men need to be proactive in putting an end to this illness in society. And, take a look at it this way, would you like to be a person who's feared and hated by your wife or other female members of your house? Or would you like to be loved, adored and revered? Would you like your kids to run clear of you or run towards you whilst you get home? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A HOUSE MAKER OR A HOUSE BREAKER?
By the way, what's the opposite of Patriarchal thinking?
Jai Hind. Satyamev Jayate
